From My Soap Box

By Fae Lox

Within the last decade, there’s been a huge tidal wave of traumatized people educating themselves on mental health issues, specifically narcissism. Some indulge more in-depth than others, ranging from base-level videos to technical periodicals. Regardless, all are assisting in the breakdown of something fairly complex and striking.

Moreover, the more educated one becomes, the more equipped they will be when dealing with difficult personalities. By all means, protect yourself.

As we take that painful dive into new information, it’s easy to vilify the culprit for an eternity with their sneaky twist-and-turn-like behavior. No one would call hanging them at the stake excessive due to the lasting trauma-induced experiences everyone survived.

We take it all in, as we patiently wait for our turn to complain at the support group meeting, spouting jargon like narcissistic supply, gaslighting, and so forth. By the way, why aren’t there any support groups for flying monkeys?

As we identify the bizarre personality type that leads to other complex disorders, we begin to piece together the puzzle. Let’s pause from gathering evidence against our culprit, shall we?

Let’s consider our own compliance with some of these very naughty manners. There’s always something we could’ve done differently for the sake of honest reflection.

That’s what makes narcissism such a hard pill to swallow. As you research the disorder, you realize so much about the said villain, while highlighting just as much insight about you. The public gets so comfortable pointing at the bad guy while ducking the mirror when they walk past the sink.

What about when we knowingly or unknowingly play the supporting role in the sitcom? What about the time we signed up to be extras in the Wizard of Oz with the hot, colorful costumes? We seemed to enjoy playing the little people for at least a little while.

For those who have yet to familiarize themselves with this jargon, let’s define the term ‘Flying Monkey’. Loosely, they’re described as enablers who assist a manipulative person in their schemes knowingly and sometimes unknowingly.

Well, that sounds so malevolent. Surely, we wouldn’t help someone hurt someone else. Consider all the late-night ear lending and suggestions we provided without hearing the other person’s side. How about the full-on directions we provided when advising a person to really stick it to the mute subject?

Consider the dust storm of verbal traffic surrounding the person of discussion, unbeknownst to them, and how that affects their interactions with others. What about how it damages outside parties’ perceptions without knowing the full story?

Like children on the playground forming alliances with the cool while isolating the outcast. Come to think about it, adulthood seldom leaves the high school cafeteria. Not so innocent, nor are we?

Often, it’s not intentional, but what does the cliché say? Something about the road to hell was paved with good intentions.

Not all misunderstandings get cleared up before the commercial break. Painful experiences and mistruths can linger. While we move on, someone has been boxed in by lies, their reputation sieged, possibly leading to arrested development without a proper trial.

Nonetheless, we have to realize when someone is asking for advice or baiting us into a box of prejudice. Perhaps, we’re asked to take a harmless peek at a social media page or look into a name here or there. When do we consider it group stalking? There go those cute little monkeys again.

Lastly, when we repeat such one-sided chatter to others, do we see it as accurate or an assumption? Although we all hate being the center of private discussions, especially if it’s not true.

So, contemplate your role as an unbiased bystander, a so-called friend, the observant yet silent owl, or an accomplice. Remember, similar to recess sports, eventually it will be your turn.